A collection of thoughts from my visit to the dentist

I’m very good at avoiding things. Gas bills, extroverted neighbours, text messages from distant relatives; you name it, I’ve shimmied past it many times before.

The idea of squirming in an antiseptic dental office for an hour, my mouth prodded and scraped by two rubbery hands is more than enough to send me hurdling for the hills. But, unfortunately, I can’t hide from adulthood forever.

After mustering the courage to face reality, I decided to pay my dentist a long overdue visit. And here’s a few moments and musings from my time in the chair.

On Mind Reading & Consumption

  • Me (contemplating): I wonder if he knows I didn’t brush my teeth after my long black this morning?

On Fact & Fiction

  • Dentist: How often are you flossing at the moment?

  • Me: Oh, ah, probably, once every… week? (He can smell my deceit)

  • Dentist: Let’s try and increase that to once a day.

  • Me: Of course, definitely. I’m usually really good at this. You should have seen my teeth in November. So. Clean.

On Juggling Priorities

  • Dentist: So, what are you plans for the rest of the day?

  • Me (with both dentist hand’s and tools whizzing in mouth): *inaudible gurgling*

  • Dentist: Sorry, what was that?

On Saving Face

  • Dentist (following 5 minutes of literal scrapping along my gums with a tiny sword-like weapon): How are we doing?

  • Me (a silent tear runs down my cheek): Great.

  • Dentist: Do you want to take a break?

  • Me (roars): Let’s get this done.

Lucinda StarrComment